moved..

moved to

http://misadventuresoftheatypical.blogspot.com/

to Phuket and back..part 1..

ok people..i am back from where i was..had a blast discovering Patong Beach and some neighbouring islands..here is the breakdown..

Sat got up around 9ish..finished packing..slacked a bit then left the house at 11am..took the cab down to Terminal 1..the queue for the boarding pass was long la..took me close to half an hour before i got my boarding pass..

Airplane tix..two way..Air Asia..$257 inclusive tax and insurance..no seat selection..no meals..

got my pass..changed money..airport rates were $103 to 2300BHT..went in..baby E called me to talk about the previous night..we talked for quite a bit..i went to smoke..and by 12.15pm i was in the waiting lounge..felling utterly nervous because it was my first solo flight..in fact my first solo anything out of Singapore..thank god i would have Leon and Marie with me in Phuket..the flight was supposed to leave at 1.05pm but gates only opened for boarding at 1pm..flight only took off at 1.45pm..i was supposed to be seated in the middle..not aisle not window..but since there were these two ladies that were seperated..i offered for them to have my seat..so i took the other lady’s seat which was a window seat..hell yea..and only 2 of the 3 seats were occupied so there was an empty seat beside me and the next guy sat at the aisle side..the flight was ok..a bit of turbulence which was normal..tried to read but i guess i was too excited..cant sit still..tried to sleep but it was too bright and early..managed to doze off here and there..finally landed in HKT at around 2.10pm(HKT)..was kinda worried cause me n Marie had no set arrangement for meeting up..customs took a long time to clear..but while waiting Marie managed to call me..she had arrived earlier than me due to my flight delay..so we arranged to meet outside the airport..got thru customs..then went  out to look for her..i went out another exit and spend like 15mins searching for her..haa..oh..and baby E called me again..hee..finally managed to bump into Marie..sweet gal wrote my name out on a piece of paper and held it up looking for me..thank you baby..=) checked out the rates to get to Patong..

Taxi..450BHT..advantage..direct and personal..

Mini-Bus..150BHT per person..have to wait for other passengers..and drop off one by one..but still cheaper la..unless you have more than 2 in a group..

finally on our way..informed Leon that we were on the minibus already..so he headed back to the guesthouse and made arrangements with the recept to accomadate the 2 of us in his room..the mini-bus ride took like 45mins to get to the guesthouse..very discreet place..we got off the bus and didnt really know where the guesthouse was..haa..its entrance is tucked away between other shops..went up..went in..the room was ok..huge ass bed for the 3 of us..big tv..haaa..dresser..cupboard..decent bathroom..

Coast Star Mansion..206/7-8 Raturid 200 Pee Road..1050BHT..divided by the 3 of us was only 350BHT each..

it was a good location..pretty near the shopping mall..the nightlife area..and the beach..after chilling in the room for a bit..headed out to check out the area..poor Leon..had to re-walk the same stretch of road again with us after doing it the night b4..but turns out..thats as much as there is to do while ur there..haaa..we walked the same stretch of Soi Bangla so many times..the beach was so overcrowded with beach chairs..and beach umbrellas..i think there must have been a beach chair and umbrella warehouse sale up the road or something..but it was beautiful..the magnificent sky..the wided sandy beach..the water was not at all clear though..anyway..things bought on the first day..

Hat..250BHT..

Adapter plug..125BHT..

DVD..60BHT..

Dinner @ In The Garden..180BHT..

changed another $100 to 2280BHT..

after dinner headed back to the guesthouse as we were tired from the walking..tot of going Simon Cabaret but me n Leon fell asleep..haaa..after we woke up..it was Marie’s turn to sleep..haa..so me and Leon headed out..same thing..walked the whole stretch again..this time the streets were more abuzz with activities..the a-go-go bars were open and the girls were flocking the streets..things bought..

Beer downstairs from our room..Chang Draft..39BHT..

Supper @ In The Garden..110BHT..

Beer/ Snacks/ Cigs..75BHT..

me n Leon headed to the roof of the guesthouse and chilled with a bottle of beer and chips..after that sleep..

woke up the next day..walked down the same stretch of street..had breakfast and had ice-cream from Swensens..heee..after that..headed back to the guest house to check out..

Breakfast..210BHT..

Swensens..59BHT..

Shades..200BHT..

Tuk-tuk to Baramee Hip Hotel..200BHT..which amounts to 66BHT each..

Baramee Hip Hotel..2 nights..plus 3rd person..3200BHT..which amounts to 1066BHT each..

the room was good..white..new..spacious..but the view kinda sucks..haaa..the hotel was situated in an area where its still being built up..so there was actually a building being built right outside our window..headed out to explore more and shop some more..

Koh Phi Phi Tour by big boat..800BHT..

2 x Singlets..320BHT..

Simon Cabaret..900BHT..

Dinner..160BHT..

Tuk tuk back to hotel..66BHT..

Snacks..190BHT..

wireless Internet access in the room for an hour..120BHT..

walked and walked..and finally found Simon Cabaret..bought our tix like 2 hrs b4 the show and headed for dinner..after dinner..rushed back to Simon Cabaret to catch the 7.30pm show..missed the opening by about a few minutes..but the whole show was damn nice..i must say that it is a must watch..the Dreamgirls impersonation..the Wonder Girls impersonation..those were my faves..and the comedy bit too..where the performer actually came down and gave Leon multiple kisses..haaa..after tt dunno whether he blushing or sunburn..haa..after the show..Marie and Leon took pics with the ladies..after that..we headed back..went to bed early cause we had to go for the Phi Phi Islands boat tour the next day..

be back with the rest of the story later tonight..

the commuting blogger..

hello lovelies..ima back to give u some updates..

firstly..i finally got the camera of my dreams..yes yes yes..i actually got a better version of the one i wanted..my aim for the past like half a year was the Fujifilm S8000fd..which is a 8mpx cam with 18x zoom..but when i went to Best Denki..the salesperson said that the S8100fd was just a $50 top up from the S8000fd..and i was blown away..because when i saw the S8100fd at Mustafa it was like $100 odd more than the S8000fd..so what do i get for $50 more..10mpx..same 18x zoom..but wide angle lens..weeeee!! for $50 diff leh..of course i’d take the S8100fd..and i did..so..$549 poorer..i am on my way to rediscover colour and beauty in this world again..and i have been loving the cam since..although i still have probs with night shots..i think in general its still proving to be a very good investment..will attach pics another time..orr you can just check em on my FB or my Flickr..

secondly..i am going to Phuket this Sat!! weeeee!! its a kinda of on a whim kinda thing..Red had planned the trip few weeks back and was looking for someone to accompany him..but i reckoned i’d save up for Songkran next month but since plans for that have kinda fell through i was kinda tempted to join Red..so i asked Red bout the trip on Friday and on Sat noon while still lazing on my bed i bought the plane tix..Air Asia..$257..return..thing though is that Red will be flying on Fri..so i’ll only join him there in Phuket on Sat afternoon..will spend 3 nights there..first night in a guest house..then last 2 nights in a hotel that Red already booked..gonna be back on Tuesday noon..damn i’m looking forward to DFS..haa..anyway..we’re planning to hit the beach..watch muay thai..hit the bars..watch a cabaret show..and take lots and lots of photos..haa..

third..im gonna be on leave  from tomm onwards..baby E asked me to an event tomm..then shopping with him on Thurs..then his party at  Zirca on fri..of course i wont drink..much..on friday cause of my noon flight the next day..might drop by Estate Bar @  Serangoon on friday b4 the party to check out the place..

ok..thats for what gonne be happening..

so whats has been happening…KM8 on sunday..damn KM8 just gets better and better the more often we go..though its sad that we’ve less than a month to enjoy the place..so we’ll hit the place one last sunday before the 28th of March..it rained shitloads last sunday but we had fun nonetheless..with our wines..beer..sarong fly..chips..endless laughter..and non stop dancing..the amazing thing was..i saw my second rainbow of the week..and this time i saw it in its entirety..and damn it was magnificent..even my wide angle lens could not capture the full splendor of natures portrayal of colours..

got to go see baby E for a bit on Sunday night at his work place..and got to work with baby A last night..sweet boy..gonna miss him this whole week im away from work..

anyway..cheerios..you’d prolly hear from me one last time b4 i fly..or when im back..anyhoots..im gonna have a hell lot of fun!! haaaaaaaaaaaa!!

weird is as weird gets..

i had this crazy assed dream this morning..and i think snippets of which were influenced by last night..

it comes in 2 parts..well..3..i think..

first was me..in this school like building..there were people around..then there was talk of a rocket landing but no one took notice of it because no one expected it to land there..but moments later it did..im starting to think this part of the dream was influenced by the Transformers trailer..the rocket landed upright and a brief moment later it transformed into this tower like thing with lights and house music..it caused the glass windows of the building to shatter..but the interesting part was that it shattered into water..and only reverted into its glass form upon hitting the floor..so people were running around..then i bump into who else but my baby Erwin who i had dinner with the night before..he joined me in maneuvering around the place..i remember a double decker bus somewhere along the lines..but im not caring bout anything else but my baby E..

second part..i was lying in bed..my middle, ring and pinky fingers on both hands were severed at the second joint..quite weird come to think of  it..but it was fully healed..and i could do things normally with no concern for my disfigurement..but for some reason i was just so be in bed and doctors would come see me to check on me..prob influenced by watching The Biggest Loser and hearing the word Diabetes..go figure..

last part..some futuristic kinda looking cop on a futuristic kinda looking bicycle..stopped in front of us(whoever we may be)..dismounts and leaves his bike there while he runs off after something..so i take the bike..n end up cycling around a HDB block with very open spaces..all the people in the area were kinda zombified..but not killer zombie types..just air in the head kinda zombies..then saw the cop again..out of uniform..he sees that i have his bike and i try to evade him by heading to the beach which is right behind the block??? haa..i threaten to dump the bike into the waters..and  he catches up with me..stands in front of me in the water in his black trunks..i relented and returned the bike to him..telling him that i think he was cute..we got out of the water and headed back upstairs..i saw him briefly one last time..this time i had a nice view of what i liked to see..haa..

then i was awoken by an sms..by who else..but my baby E.. =)

anyway..me n E had a very nice quiet dinner..i bought sushi as per his request..and brought it to his workplace..and we ate..had a few drinks with him and chatted and chatted until closing..then we went for supper at Maxwell Market before heading our separate ways..gonna see him again for dinner again this sunday.. =)

wordle..

courtesy of http://www.wordle.net

Aze-ology

Let others know a little more about yourself, re-post this as your name followed by "ology"

IF I TAGGED YOU, PLEASE PUT THIS UP ON YOUR PAGE AS A NOTE AND TAG SOME OTHER PEOPLE!



***********FOOD-OLOGY***************

What is your salad dressing of choice?
No particular fave..

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
Tampines West CC McDonalds..heee..

What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it?
Marmite Chicken With Rice Plus Egg..twice a day even..

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
CHEEEEESSSSEEEE!!

What do you like to put on your toast?
Condensed Milk and Milo powder..heee..

**********TECHNOLOGY***************

How many television sets are in your house?
5..but only 3 in use..the other 2 in storage..

what color of cell phone do you have?
Black..most of my phones have been..

***************BIOLOGY******************

Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Lefty!!

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
not that i know of..the aliens might have done something but i have no knowledge of that..

What is the last heavy item you lifted?
my ass off my bed this afternoon..

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
does under the influence of alcohol count?

************BULLCRAPOLOGY**************

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
heck..why not..

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
!XOBILE..

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
add one more zero to that..

************DUMBOLOGY******************

How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
too many..

Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
couple of weeks back...kena spot check while in a cab..

Last person you talked to?
Ari..my bro..

Last person you hugged?

my baby Albert..

**************FAVORITOLOGY****************

Season?
Sunny..

Holiday?
i hate holidays..means more work..

Day of the week?
currently..my off days..and days i get to see my A and E..

Month?
Feb..the shortest..haa..

***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************

Missing someone?
Albert..Erwin..and yes..if its not obvious enough..Zaccheus..=)

Mood?
better than just now..thanks to my baby Erwin..

What are you listening to?
im watching tv..

Watching?
2 And A Half Men..

Worrying about?
if i should eat right now..

***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************

First place you went this morning?
sleep..haa..

What's the last movie you saw?
The Notebook..

Do you smile often?
only if i have to..

QUESTIONS

1) Do you always answer your phone?
No..haa..

2) It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
Erwin.. =)

3) If you could change your eye color what would it be?

one green and one blue..

4) What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?
huh?

5) Do you own a digital camera?
yes but im planning to buy my dream cam next month..

6) Have you ever had a pet fish?
Yes..they died..

7) Favorite Christmas song?
Silent Night..

8) What's on your wish list for your birthday?
world peace..

9) Can you do push ups?
i should hope so..

10) Can you do a chin up?
i pray that i still can..

11) Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
it is what it is..

12) Do you have any saved texts?
459..from A and E..

13) Ever been in a car wreck?
nope..

14) Do you have an accent?
only when i speak to ang mohs..haa..or silly lil vietnamese american boy..

15) What is the last song to make you cry?
Only Hope..

16) Plans tonight?
work..

17) Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
only too often..

18) Name 3 things you bought in the last week
Double Cheeseburger..Mineshine Milk Tea..Fried Noodles..

19) Have you ever been given roses?
not that i can remember..

20) Current worry?
what time to sleep..

21) Current hate right now?
that i cant be with either A and E..

22) Met someone who changed your life?
too many..

23) How did you bring in the New Year?
work..

24) What song represents you?
Theme from Schindlers List..

25) Name three people who might complete this?
whoever is as bored as i am right now la..

26) What were you doing at 12 AM last night
work..

27) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
did E msg me?

are you gonna be a sinner who weeps?

man..here i am..the commuting blogger..back again..on one of my long train rides to work..i actually am glad to be at work..at least there is something there to keep me occupied and the people at work matter too..worked with my baby the past 2 days..so im happy..happy that Rob is back too..i think things will start to pick up from here on..though i must say..i think the whole new seating arrangement sucks..all high tables on the 3rd tier..totally unbalances the room..

anyway..i was talking to Nhu the other night..and also Rob the other day..bout my innate ability to fall in love with straight men..Rob and me came to a conclusion that i’m basically a straight woman trapped in a gay man’s body..which pretty much sums it..i have that strong need to find a guy who is capable of taking care of me..as opposed to me always being the one wearing the pants in a relationship..it got me thinking..fact is..its almost impossible for me to find someone to fit the bill..it would have to be someone at least of my height or taller just to even things out..im always the taller domineering one..he would also need to be someone of my age or slightly older because young boys just dont think on the same wavelength..i dont know..i guess its just easier for me to put my heart out on my sleeve and go for straight boys..cause i know where they will fall in the gender role section of the relationship..and im not even talking bout sex..im just talking bout intimacy and the relationship as a whole..

Fizah asked me why i dont endeavor to turn them straight boys around..and join the dark side..and while its a totally feasible plan..i told her my experience with David..in all honesty..it’d be too much work..and when he turns back the other way..hey..its me with fork plunged into my heart that is worn on my sleeve..too much effort..way too much..

well..for most of it..im glad i have other things to keep me occupied..so i dont have to spend my spare time pondering my fate as a 27yr old single faggot in Singapore in 2009..

oh yeah..i’m like so gonna get myself a new camera next month..hope all works out  well with my finances..then with camera in hand..i’ll be on my quest to rediscover the colours that seem to have  faded and dulled over these years..

Chalet in late march hopefully..

Bangkok in April..

Shanghai in July perhaps..

 

i was thinking..i would like to visit Goa too..haa..

 

cheers..

oh what a tangled web..

so whats new pussycat..

for those of you who do not know yet..i've been on MC the past few days..nothing life threathening..yet..doc diagnosed it as a Viral Exanthem..quoted possible Rubella..in layman's terms..its just a viral rash which might be German Measles..its not an allergic rash..its a viral rash..so right now my whole body kinda looks like..its supposed to..spotted..doc does not want me going to work or anywhere out of the house for that matter for the sole fact that Rubella might be infectious to young kids who are not immunised against it and also pregnant women..

it did bother me that my lymph node at the back of my neck got swollen during the 2nd day..but i wikied it and found out that its kinda normal during infections..even doc says so..its gone down a tad bit so doc says i'm probably out of the acute stage..the spots are starting to reduce as well..

it sucks to be stuck at home..i had to miss 2 days of working with my baby..miss Robbie's return..miss seeing Meff before he goes back..cant say that i miss alcohol though..thats something good that came out of this..ooh..i miss marmite chicken dammit..

anyway..once again..i sincerely thanks you guys for the care and concern and well wishes..but seriously..i just feel so friggin smothered..so please stop it..for me to say im on MC is just to tell you guys that i will be cooped up at home and not be at work..its not an open invite for countless people telling me to drink more water and get more rest..spare me the formalities..i wont be shy about it..im well liked cause im a likeable person..thats why people care..its obviously not because of my money for i have none..or my looks or my body of which both are only just substantial..but for whatever reason..just know..i'd probably wont care if u have the flu..or sprained your toe..or broke a nail..i cant really care much to care unless im getting something out of it..so im not surprised if you treat me the same..really..

anyway..how cool is it that a Friday the 13th falls before Valentines Day..they should do like a movie..'Jason Falls In Love..And Dies..Again..'

enuff crap..go to sleep..

25 things..

tonnes of you tagged me..so i guess i’ll succumb and get it over and done with..

1) I was born with birthmarks on both legs..the one on the left is pretty obvious and stretches from my heel all the way up to my butt..the one on the right has pretty much been merged with my tan..

2) I used to stay in Changi Prison as a toddler since my father was a prison warden and had his quarters in the prison compound..it was a 3 or 4 storey building and everyone knew each other..

3) I was called Michael in Kindergarten because my teacher Ms Lim had difficulty pronouncing my full name..the name was given to me by George who was one of my best friends in class..why Michael..go figure..

4) I only went through 1 year of Kindergarten because i started school one year later than supposed..i used to think i was special..haa..

5) The only sport i did in primary school were 5-stones and the 2-lined version of zero point..i sucked at Inclined Flex Arm Hang..and i ran slower than a girl twice my size..

6) i reckon this is taking much longer than i had initially anticipated and it would seem that i have to travel to boon lay and back before i can actually finish this and go to work..hey..it is supposed to be a random thing right..

7) I was in NCC for 2 years in secondary school but hated it because the teacher in charge only paid attention to the boys who gave him trouble..hello..some attention here please!!

8) so i ditched NCC in sec 3 and  joined  the dance club..one of 2 boys in an all girls club..i got the attention i wanted and thus an attention seeker was born..

9) i used to have a crush on my best friend..he had a thing for my (then) gf’s best friend..he called her h2o..i called him h2o2..

10) i ditched said best friend in poly..and found many cute chinese guys to flirt with..i think h2o2 was the start of my lifelong curse of loving str8 men..

11) i had a str8 ‘bf’ in poly whose name is that of my current boi boi..Danson..i think we once freaked our lecturer out during class when we were standing around the lecturer and i had my arms around him..

12) my tanning days started at Sunset Bay..my brother Edmund who i was kinda into..was the one responsible for that..and i’ve loved tanning and the beach since..

13) in bmt..my PC used to call me J-Lo because he caught me dancing in the gym one night..

14) back track..i had my first beer and smoke in Bali back in Sec 3..with my parents..it was Bir Bintang..and their sole purpose is for me to try and be put off by it..little did they know..haa..

15) in brunei as a cadet..me and my team survived on the Asam Fruit for 2 full days cause we were too overconfident when we got to Mt Biang and finished all our food..thank god for Cpt Bonnie who taught me bout Asam..

16) i am about to reach Outram Park and I am still here typing this..when will i finish?!?!?

17) ok..one day later..in the train..i’m continuing this..bleah!

18) the biggest complaint i ever gotten from my trainees..my mood swings..go figure..haa..

19) i have been rollerblading since 1994..almost got my lifeguard certification in sec 3..and have been a bitch since the dawn of time..

20) i am currently reading Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth”..but the biggest impact a book ever had on me is definitely Dan Millman’s “Way Of The Peaceful Warrior” which I started reading in Primary 6..imagine..a pri 6 student reading a self help/philosophical book..how screwed up was i..haa..but that was the book that helped change me and make me the man i am today..

21) there are 2 guys i majorly love and they are my bestie (cue Omie..) and my buddy (cue Z..)..there are 2 other guys i really like and one is my BG boyfriend (cue Albert..) and silly nilly sally boy (cue Erwin..)..

22) i can’t believe i’m about to finish this post..i cant wait to so move on from this..this is really taking up my tie and brain cells..

23) for those of you who still do not know..i am left handed..but that applies to only 3 aspects of my life..writing..using chopsticks..and wanking..i shoot (with deadly accuracy i might add..) my M16s and SAR21s like a regular right hander..

24) the one song that goes over and over and over again in my phone right now is Josh Groban’s “You’re Still You”..there is just something slightly romantic and powerful  bout the song..

25) oooh..this one i like..quite a number of you are familiar with this but i just cant help writing it down..i can recite the first 20 elements of the periodic table in order..and usually would do so when i’m intoxicated just to prove that i’m still thinking straight..but the planets in our solar system still evades me..haa..ooh..i know the 7 colours of the rainbow in order too..i am such faggoty geek right..haa..

im happy beyond words..

Through the darkness 
I can see your light 
And you will always shine 
And I can feel your heart in mine 
Your face I've memorized 
I idolize just you 

I look up to 
Everything you are 
In my eyes you do no wrong 
I've loved you for so long 
And after all is said and done 
You're still you 
After all 
You're still you 

You walk past me 
I can feel your pain 
Time changes everything 
One truth always stays the same 
You're still you 
After all 
You're still you 

I look up to 
Everything you are 
In my eyes you do no wrong 
And I believe in you 
Although you never asked me to 
I will remember you 
And what life put you through 

And in this cruel and lonely world 
I found one love 
You're still you 
After all 
You're still you

i got to see someone today..i went down to his workplace to give him Kit Kat chocolates..cause he needed a break..and some Ginseng Chrysanthemum Tea from the Chinese Medicine Shop..tot it might do him some good.. and so..i got to see him smile..and got a hug from him too.. =)

im a happy beaver beyond words.. =)

Zaccheus Lee..

i miss u buddy..

oh ya..im at Newton with my army buddies..Tocky..Rashes and Bazim..very full from eating all that seafood.. =)

Ab Fab Sunday 2009..

ok..for the uninitiated..Ab Fab Sunday is basically drinking Absolut Mango and having a fabulous time..on a beach..on Sunday..ok..so next time i say Ab Fab Sunday..make sure u know..don know can ask ah..don keep quiet..and then miss out on an Ab Fab Sunday.. ;p

got there at 4..had to walk all the way from the beach stop to km8 cause the damn tram service closed due to the Sentosa Flowers..had so much fun at KM8 though..the drinks we had..the yu sheng..all the martial arts and other stuff we learnt..haa..i would wanna blog more la..but im in my comfortable position on my bed..so i'll just post pics..plus i got something i wanna do for someone special first.. =)

filler..

Take the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz.

the commuting blogger..

ok..big news ppl..

I AM FINALLY RID OF MY DAMN FEVER!!

took me 6 days to get rid of it..but hell yeah im glad its gone..just in time for me to enjoy my 3 days off..one more night of work tonight..then its rest and relax..

ok..by now im sure you people can notice the change in my mood..yes yes..emo days are gone..for now at least..haa..

so..whats up for me this 3 days of bliss..

Sunday:

-gonna start off with Ab Fab Sunday February 2009..this time at KM8 with some of my BG peeps..and hopefully some of the original Ab Fab cast..

-following that..its time to go fabulous again at Fabulous Sunday…this time at Rebel..its their first..but subsequently they will take up residence at Zirca..anyway..thats kiv first for now..all depends on my Sunday Crew..might just end up at Tantric like always..sigh..i always do miss Rob on Sundays..

Monday:

-nothing really planned  yet for the day so perhaps i’ll try to get some exercise done..which reminds me i’ve yet to sign up for the Sundown Marathon..maybe i’ll finally get to go to EnerygyOne to check out the membership..

-in the evening..hopefully my dear Ivan Sim will be free and agree to meet up for coffee..or drinks..somewhere..if it works out i hope we could go to Mortons for drinks cause i do want to check out the place before i make up my mind..

Tuesday:

-purely nua day..don’t think i’d head out cause i’ll be in for hell the next week following my return to work..Bryan and Nadine are going off for their leave..leaving only me and Tommy..and there will be days Tommy will be alone..and there will be days i will be alone..and i don’t think that its funny at all..haa..

anyway..its kinda fun blogging in the train..listening to my songs..no one to bother me..unlike when im at home..i got the internet to keep me occupied..the tv distracting me..the comfortable lying down position that keeps me way too nua to think about what to write..well..guess thats it for now..gonna cam-whore tomm and then i’ll finally have pics up on this delightful blog of mine..

Life at 27 years..it justs gets better.. =)

you’re still you..

i thought..hey..since i’m sitting in the train everyday without a book in hand anymore..might as well i pen down my morbid thoughts on life..right..why not..makes perfect sense to spend my time adding more sorrow and darkness into the lives of the few netizens who actually bother to read my mindless rants..

anyway..the topic of today’s discussion is influenced by the song titled above..sung by none other than one of my fave singers..Josh Groban..i want to talk about the man that i am looking for in my life..how that translates to the song or the singer has more to do with the lyrics in the verses rather than the chorus..

all my life..throughout my straight and gay relationships..i have been the one wearing the pants so to speak..no doubt my ex gf wore a skirt..but even with my ex bfs i was the one in-charge..i was the man of the house..i was the one calling the shots..and frankly speaking..i grew weary of that..i was tired of making the decisions all the time..

i mean..looking at me..and at all that i’ve gone through..its pretty safe to say that i’m quite the butch male..and i guess its easy for me to fall into the role of the male lead in any of my relationships..but as butch as i am..i am still a very emotional creature..more emotional than i am butch..

and that is perhaps why i get so emo all the time..because my emotional needs have not been met..if only i had a guy to cuddle me once in a while i’d pms less often..like i once told Albert..i need a man to hold me in his arms and whisper to me that it will all be ok..i need that kind of manly reassurance from someone other than myself..

i dont need Mr Abercrombie and Fitch..or Mr California Fitness..i just need a plain simple loving man..someone to hold my hand once in a while..someone to hug me when it gets cold..someone to kiss me on my forehead before i go to bed..

i guess my need for a man who can take care of me is the reason why i keep falling for straight men..because i know pretty well that these guys will only tend to fall into the male role in the relationship..and i can swoon and fall in love like a little girl..with fellow gays..i’d never know of which role i’d be taking on..and once i get in..and i dont like it..i’d have to end it..then the whole bitterness and what not..too much hassle..

yeah..i guess that is it..my whole reason for loving straight men so much..is the comfort and security that i get from them for however briefly..cause at the end of the day..straight man gets a gf..and i’m left wandering the streets looking for the next shoulder for me to lean on..

to where you are..

i mulled about the title of this post..and i mulled over the content of this post..

i figured if i did any more mulling..there would not be any writing done..

its amazing how your physical health is tied to your emotional health..and vice versa..in my case its the first..falling ill has brought out some deep seeded emotions..emotions i much rather not have to deal with now..or at any other point in my life..

they say clowns actually lead very sad lives..how true..i think..to go through life so bravely..laughing at every obstacle..smiling through every adversity..if only for the entertainment of the people around them..but when the make up comes off..the reality of life sets in..

desolation..its been more than a year since my last relationship..Ian looks happy now..and i am glad he found that happiness with Mark..as for Michael..last i saw..he was happy being himself..happy being around Lav and Kelly..and happy with his  job..Alex..now he is one naughty boy..for most of it..i think he loves his bf dearly..but yes..us scorpions have one thing in common..and maybe that was what made us compatible..

all my life i’ve been pretty independent..never needing much people around me..but has that been the wrong way to go for me..has my lack of dependency led me to a possible life of isolation..

its getting closer and closer to a year now since Brandon left us..and still everyday..i am reminded of him..if indeed there exists an afterlife..i wonder where he is and what he is doing now..i miss the times we hanged out together..i remember him laying his head on my tummy back in bmt..we were not allowed on our beds in the day so we’d all lie on the floor and since i was the one with the tummy..i became their pillow..i remember staying with him that one week at River Valley..going to the supermarket together..bringing Princeton for his night walks..i remember the last time i saw him conscious..in his room..weeks before i saw him lying in the hospital bed..

emo times are here to stay..

so stay tuned..

2009..

its not been a month since the new year has passed..and its starting to look like the beginning of a messed up year..i grew weary of blogging a while back..but i guess..it was just more like a time out for me..though i do admit i am tired of the whole colourful online persona..and that is why i decided to ditch my previous blog and go with a newer, more morose version..

honestly..i am tired..tired of being everybody's shoulder..tired of smiling through everything like an idiot..tired of everything..tired of making you happy at my own expense..there is just so much of the world's problems i can carry on my shoulders before these shoulders give way..

i have feelings and i have needs too..just because i choose not to show them or share them with you does not mean i dont feel a thing..and that you can keep unloading all your problems to me..you are not the only one with issues..all my life i have to listen to my mom nag about my dad..and then my dad nag about my mom..i get so fed up listening to the troubles of the world when my troubles stay hidden inside me..

Bryan asked me last night if i was upset..because the straight guy i liked is attached to a girl..honestly..who would not be upset..but i guess i've grown so used to it that it does not really faze me anymore..i'm always the fool when it comes to love and life..always playing the role of silly suitor..running around hoping that someday..a straight man will love me..the question i always wanted to ask is..if he loves me..would that not make him gay..and upon realising that..would it make me want to move on to the next straight guy despite him loving me..

am i just a dog running after its tail..

life tires me..

welcome to the new me..2009 edition..